Breastfeeding and sleep training are two things in the parenting world that often seem to be at odds with each other.

There is a common belief that if you breastfeed your baby, you certainly cannot sleep train them. And, if you sleep train your child, that must mean you formula feed or are going to be done breastfeeding.

I’m here to tell you – the two are not mutually exclusive! You can, in fact, do and have both! Truly, in my opinion, the best of both worlds.

I’m coming at you today wearing all the hats; I’m a mom of two who breastfed my children, a Registered Nurse (I currently work in a urgent care with lots of kiddos), a Lactation Educator Counselor (in training to become an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant!), AND a Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant. I list these titles not so you can be impressed, but so that you know I have knowledge and experience in each of these areas. When you know what I know, it’s easy to see how gray these lines between feeding and sleep can get, but it’s also how I know that you can have a great little eater and a great little sleeper.

Just because you’re a breastfeeding mom doesn’t mean you need to be sleep deprived too. You CAN exclusively breastfeed and be well-rested at the same time.

I think it would be most helpful for you if we start at the beginning, and outline the norms for feeding that support sleep from the newborn phase to beyond a year…a roadmap of sorts to help guide the journey of your baby’s very basic needs their first year of life – feeding and sleep.

The First Month

Your focus for the first 2-4 weeks with your newborn baby should be on establishing feeds and your milk supply. Sleep will take a backseat during this time while your supply gets established. If you don’t first establish your supply, there will be no supply (or not enough) to feed your baby.

Your baby’s circadian rhythm won’t start to develop more until 6-8 weeks anyway, so it’s not a big deal if you don’t worry about sleep quite yet.

Establishing Your Milk Supply

Focus on feeding your baby 8-12 times a day or every 2-3 hours. Your baby may cluster feed, and this is normal. Cluster feeding might look like baby wanting to eat every hour or seem like baby wants to eat again shortly after just nursing. This is a good thing, baby is signaling your body to make more milk, because the more baby feeds the more milk your body will produce.

Also, try to stay away from the use a pacifier until feeding has been established.

What’s Normal vs. What’s Not

The first few weeks of breastfeeding may feel uncomfortable since it’s new, but it shouldn’t really be painful. Pain with breastfeeding is usually due to an issue with your baby’s latch and if you suspect this, I’d recommend reaching out to a lactation professional. Your baby should be back to their birth weight by 2 weeks old, and that is usually when doctors will give the okay for your little one to sleep longer stretches at night.

Here’s what I’ve learned as both a lactation professional and as a sleep professional: Feeding “on-demand” can be very tricky and confusing, simply because a hungry baby and a tired baby display the same signs. Instead, shoot for feeding every 2-3 hours with sleep occurring in between. Believe it or not, a newborn can really only tolerate being awake for about 35-60 minutes at a time. So if they are fussy and recently ate they just might be tired!

Of course like I mentioned earlier, there will be times when baby will want to eat sooner, such as when they are cluster feeding and during growth spurts.

Following the Eat-Play-Sleep pattern can help, especially for the first year of your baby’s life. Offer full feeds to your baby upon waking for the day or from a nap. Have a little “play” time. During the newborn stage, this may look like them staring at you for a few minutes or doing a little bit of tummy time (likely on your chest!). Then, they take another nap. It’s a short and vicious cycle those first few months!

Months 2-6

At this point and for the next few months, your baby will probably be eating anywhere from 8-12 times in a 24-hour period.

Another thing to note is that the older your baby gets, the more efficient they get at feeding. The time at the breast may be decreased since they’re taking in more than they were at the beginning. Some babies can drain your breast in 5-10 minutes and that’s normal.

Night feeds are still appropriate. 1-2 night feeds are recommended. If your doctor is recommending more you may still need to wake your baby for night feeds – listen to what your child’s doctor says. Unless your baby is dropping the night feeds on their own, you can continue night feeds through 6 months.

You’ll hear some sleep consultants say if your baby weighs 15 lbs they can sleep through the night. I don’t care so much about baby’s weight as long as there haven’t been issues with weight gain and they’re following their own growth curve… and doctor gives the okay! Of course, unless your baby was premature and was very small, but again your doctor will guide you.

Did I mention speaking with your child’s doctor about night feeds?!

One other big thing to consider at this stage – especially if you’ll need your baby to eventually take a bottle from other caregivers – is to make sure you introduce a bottle by 2.5-3 months. Otherwise, it gets really hard for an exclusively breastfed baby to take one…they may reject it. I recommend giving your baby one bottle a day. Also, the mom should pump during that bottle feed so she can keep up with her supply.

Months 6-12

This is where some of the fun begins and parents will start introducing solid foods to their baby! Remember, breastmilk still needs to be the main source of calories and nutrients right now. Solid foods at this time is just for fun – to learn and to play.

Feed your baby with the milk before giving them solids so they aren’t too full from the solids.

Another thing to do now, if you already haven’t, is to move the final feed of the day to the beginning of the bedtime routine. After 6 months, most babies can sleep 11-12 hours through the night without a feed. Of course, check with your doctor first.

Make sure you don’t feed within 45 minutes of putting your baby down for a nap – some babies possibly even 60 minutes. Make sure they don’t have the feed-to-sleep or nurse-to-sleep association.

Some babies will drop their feeds to only 4-8 nursing sessions, whereas before they were feeding upwards of 8-12 times in a 24-hour period.

The breastmilk changes to meet the baby’s needs – not necessarily in volume but in the components of the milk. Babies who sleep through the night won’t have to take in more feeds during the day. The breastmilk changes to give them what they need. How amazing is that?! Some older babies will only take 4 feeds in a 24-hour period if they’re sleeping through the night.

12 Months+

At this point, your baby no longer needs night feeds.

Solids are now their primary source of calories. While breastmilk is still important, it is more supplemental than anything.

If you haven’t already, remove the bottle or breastmilk from the bedtime routine…have it before you start winding down for the night. Think of it more like a bedtime snack before you take your little one to start their bedtime routine.

It’s recommended that parents breastfeed a child for 1-2 years.

Other Considerations

If your little one is sick, or if your doctor recommends waking them to feed, it is still possible that they can be a good little sleeper!

Even while my son was a newborn and we struggled with a vicious snack feeding and short napping cycle, once I started implementing some sleep shaping strategies, we started to see improvements in both his feeding and sleep.

He wasn’t so tired anymore so he had the stamina to stay awake and eat. In turn, he had a full belly and he could sleep longer.

Feeding and sleep are pillars of our health and well-being as humans, and equally important for your baby to grow into a healthy child.

If you’re a breastfeeding mom and you’re interested in working together, I’m your girl! Learn more about working together here.