I know you may not believe this when your toddler demands a fourth bedtime story, even though you always read 3 every night…

Or when your baby screams the minute you place them in their crib, even though that’s how they always fall asleep…

But children thrive on routines. In fact, they crave them.

Consistency provides security for your child. When you do the same things day after day, your little one begins to understand what they can expect. When they know what to expect, they feel more secure, safe, and at ease – all of which makes for a better bedtime experience.

Being someone with ADHD (and having a kid with it), is super helpful and important to have routines in place. So staying consistent is something I strive for daily.

But I get it…having children can make it challenging to stay consistent when each day brings something new. That’s why I’m a big believer in creating routines that become second nature and work for your family.

One of the best routines to implement (that you can start today)?

The bedtime routine.

The Value in Routines

Routines in general are important for your child, but the bedtime routine can be the difference between a complete struggle at bedtime and your child peacefully drifting off to sleep.

Here’s the thing…it’s hard, for anyone, to go from one thing straight into another. Especially sleep.

Instead of expecting your child to go from playing with their toys to soundly sleeping, we want to offer a transition period to allow them a chance to decompress, relax, and prepare for sleep.

A great transitional period? The bedtime routine.

Not only is this a time for your child’s body to begin relaxing, but when you keep your bedtime routine consistent, your child’s body begins to know what it can expect next…sleep!

Setting the Bedtime Routine in Place

If the idea of a bedtime routine sounds exhausting because you think it’s going to be an elaborate, drawn out process, I’ve got great news, friend.

A bedtime routine should be between 20-30 minutes long. That’s it!

For newborns, the bedtime routine can be even shorter, and it can start from day 1!

What’s most important is that you repeat the same steps, in the same order, every night.

That might look like:

Changing your baby’s diaper in the same spot before naps and bedtime
Putting your little one in pajamas, a swaddle, and a sleep sack in the same room each night
Reading the same number of books in the same chair before bedtime

When you do the same steps in the same location each day, your child’s brain begins to form connections, not only with the steps in the routine, but the environment that they’re in. They begin to associate their dark, quiet room with sleep, which serves as a great cue that sleep is near.

What to Include in Your Bedtime Routine

What you include in your bedtime routine is up to you and what works for your family. The thing you want to remember is that the last 2-3 things should always be the same.

For instance, in a toddler bedtime routine, the last steps should be getting a drink of water (and then going to the bathroom), saying goodnight to everyone, and saying a prayer and doing a 2-4 minute meditation once they’re in bed.

Anything longer than that can get too drawn out, and children (aka my son with ADHD) will get antsy and bored.

Sample Bedtime Routine

Remember that what you include in your routine isn’t as important as the fact that you do it every night, so when you create a routine for your little one, be sure to include pieces that you know you’ll be able to stick to.

Here are some ideas of what you can include in your child’s bedtime routine:

Feeding
Bath Time (if you bathe every night, you can skip the soap every other night) or Wipe down with a washcloth
Lotion
Diaper and Pajamas
Reading a story
Sleep sack or swaddle
Praying together
Saying goodnight to stuffed animals
Turning on sound machine
Snuggles
Into bed

Also, if you have a toddler, giving them choice during the bedtime routine can help prevent a power struggle from ensuing. You can let your little one pick out their pajamas and pick out which 1-2 stories they will read that night.

Giving choices can really help move things along during the bedtime routine, as your child is likely excited to have some independence within their day.

When Should I Place the Feeding

Although you can decide what goes where within the bedtime routine, one recommendation I have is to consider when you’re placing your child’s feeding.

If your child is over 12 months old, I recommend not having bottles or milk during the bedtime routine at all. Instead, it can be offered before the routine even begins, before bath time and out of the child’s room.

This helps prevent a feed-to-sleep association from developing, as we want your little one to get the most sleep they can. But if they’re waking to eat or relying on milk to fall asleep, then it could cause some restless nights.

For newborns, your baby is feeding often, so placing the nursing session or bottle feed in the bedtime routine may actually help your child get a longer stretch of sleep before waking up for their next feeding session.

Routines are the perfect tool to help create a sense of security for your little one, and they also serve as the perfect transition from the day’s activity to sleep.

Remember, as you craft your child’s routine, to pick activities that you know you’ll be able to do day in and day out. And don’t feel like you have to do it all from the start. It’s okay to begin with one activity and slowly add more to create an ideal routine that works for your family.

If the idea of tackling the bedtime routine alone feels overwhelming, I invite you to work with us. Together, we can create a routine that works for your family and help uncover other issues your little one may be experiencing with their sleep.

Looking forward to connecting with you!